a slight reprieve, i think

i know that a week ago i wrote that i had one week of school left. i had two days of classes that i had to sit through last weekend, and then papers to write during this past week. thankfully, as our professor changed one of our assignments last weekend, he decided to give us an extra week to work on it. so tonight (yes, i procrastinate a lot), i'm working on the one due in about 12 hours. and then i have another week to get the other paper for this class done.

i'm glad to have the extra time, as there's no way i could've gotten them done without the extra week. but, it also means another week of doing schoolwork. ugh.

besides these two, i still have one other paper to write (that i'll hopefully get done next week)

and then as soon as i'm done with those i need to get my application for the school done. i meant to have it in by the january deadline, but between my grandmother's funeral and my father's strokes, that just didn't happen. so i was then shooting for the march deadline (they have three application review dates), but the daily migraines and feeling crappy overall made it impossible. so now i'm going for the one in may.

of course, that is assuming that by the end of this term i haven't done so poorly (i'll get into that later) that i still have a shot at getting in, and that i still think it's worth the stress and struggle to go through with this whole idea of getting my master's degree (another story as well).

the best thing in the midst of this (aside from actually having a chance now to get my papers written by having this extra week), is that since i stopped taking the anti-depressant a week ago, i have started to feel better each day. i have more energy, less confusion, (at least a little) more hope, and feel like i'm steps closer to reaching at least a minimal level of functioning. all along i felt as if that particular medication was making things worse for me, and though it sucks because it could've helped me quit smoking and should've helped me feel better, it's good to know that i should trust myself when i think i'm responding a particular way to a medication. and it's good to finally be feeling at least a little bit better.